Where can I start? Well, all I can say is that I’m a really complex human being, like any of us would be, and one thing that is not my most valuable asstet are one little thing that everyone loves, even myself, called: relationships. Friendship, dating, business, you name it, any kind of relationship between two or more people can be complex.
I could be the most loyal of all friends, or the biggest backstabber of them all. And well, my lil’ old backstabbing ways have got me into trouble, and being honest, huge trouble. Some of my oldest friends know by heart, how big of a backstabbing, pathological, psycho-liar I can be.
Sometimes, I don’t mean to be a backstabber, as at times, my comments may been seen as a “stab in the back” depending on the scenario. I’ve hurt people because of my brutally honest comments and that has made me feel like the biggest piece of crap ever. This kind of behavior has affected me in many ways: school, job, family, basically ANYWHERE!
Lately, I’ve been working on being a better and more loyal friend. Also, I’m trying to be much more reserved about my shenanigans and not being as open as I usually am. Another important detail that I’ve learned from my past as backstabbing-kinda pysco-crazy-over the top little brat ass bitch is that I’ve created this huge wall that does not allow me to fully open myself to men, and let me explain.
That mental “wall” I’ve dealt with for years comes from my experiences with other guys especially during university years, where it got way more intense than ever in my not-so short life, and I don’t have many male friends, I have a lot male acquaintances but REAL friends like close friends, well I can count them with my hands. I’ve NEVER got fully along with other males, and that has been in almost everywhere I’ve been: school, after-school activities, work, university, it’s just normal. Never had a “boys night”, never had close male friends, N E V E R and most of my female longtime friends can prove it.
Ironically, I’m so into men, I’m freaking homosexual. Thank you.
In the end, as any other human being, I’m a work in progress, and as I grow older, I will continue learning from all the experiences I go through in this journey I call life.